I stopped reading/taking in the news from mainstream media (ie NYT, NPR, et al) ages ago and it was the best thing for me and my mental health. (I still am up to date on the happenings in the world.)
We need to build new systems that truly benefit all.
And I see that us not checking in on each other is pretty much us being the poster-children of colonialism: "you're on your own, deal with it." I'm the friend who will randomly reach out to other friends via text/phone when I think of them. It's rare when that is reciprocated.
But we need community to thrive, and that is how movements are created and won. The focus needs to be on taking care of each other.
So funny I never thought of my reluctance to reach out to others as ancestral, or as a characteristic of whiteness. I thought it was my own Capricorn reserve and shyness. I thought I was giving people space, not bothering them, blah blah blah. The key person I did reach out to yesterday was my 16 year old granddaughter, who confessed to being scared. We had a rich and heartening text exchange. So I kind of feel like if that's all I got done yesterday, it was enough.
But I hear you, dear Sara. This is absolutely what will get us through ... staying connected to friends both far away and in our neighborhoods. I'm so glad you'll be writing here again. Love you.
We took Lucian to Denmark when he was 10--most of my mom's family is from there, having immigrated in the first decade of the 20th century. We happened to be in Copenhagen for the 150th anniversary of the beautiful Tivoli park, and we stood in a crowd of thousands of Danes watching fireworks once it got dark. We responded to the fireworks with our usual oos and aahs and clapping, until we realized that NO ONE else was making noise. The Danes stood there shoulder to shoulder and very quietly watched the fireworks. It was wild! So I'm not saying we don't come by some quiet and reserve honestly! And there is nothing wrong with that.
My parents held their cards so close to their chest and would never DREAM of "inconveniencing" anyone with their feelings, but they also didn't have many close friends. I am positively EFFUSIVE compared to where I come from. I also think I am giving people space, not putting my emotions on them, etc. BUT I have also come to recognize--slowly, and I forget over and over--that whiteness and "American individualism" are part of my reserve, too, and that the way I may feel comfortable being in relationship with people is not the same for them, and not necessarily the healthiest way. I KNOW I hold myself back from people.
I'm so very glad that you were able to offer G support yesterday. I was also able to comfort a teenage girl yesterday. I know you as a woman who loves her people and speaks up readily when something is amiss. I love you.
Love the Denmark story. And I'm going to be pondering this: "whiteness and "American individualism" are part of my reserve" (and colonialism as Pamela says in her comment) ... for awhile. And work to break the pattern.
I so agree with you about the media, which even now is somehow performing a "business as usual" tone. They validated Trump again and again. I cancelled my Atlantic and New Yorker subscriptions years ago, but now the NY Times may have to go...the question is what are our alternate news sources in this moment and how to support them when journalism will be under attack.
I've been thinking about this, too. Oddly, possibly the New Republic. They've been covering Trump in a more realistic light. Possibly the Guardian. Philly Inquirer. ProPublica. Let's share ideas.
Hell yes, Sara!! It’s funny in that connecting sort of way - I wrote the piece I just posted about writing and processing and then was delighted to see this post by you…and gorgeously written, as always. Your prose is so lush and delicious - I’m deeply inspired excited to get to read more of it as we move into the winter months. ❤️
I stopped reading/taking in the news from mainstream media (ie NYT, NPR, et al) ages ago and it was the best thing for me and my mental health. (I still am up to date on the happenings in the world.)
Weirdly, I'm comforted by Ken Wilber's post-truth post from 2017... https://integrallife.com/trump-post-truth-world/
We need to build new systems that truly benefit all.
And I see that us not checking in on each other is pretty much us being the poster-children of colonialism: "you're on your own, deal with it." I'm the friend who will randomly reach out to other friends via text/phone when I think of them. It's rare when that is reciprocated.
But we need community to thrive, and that is how movements are created and won. The focus needs to be on taking care of each other.
Lastly: we are all more alike than we realize.
So funny I never thought of my reluctance to reach out to others as ancestral, or as a characteristic of whiteness. I thought it was my own Capricorn reserve and shyness. I thought I was giving people space, not bothering them, blah blah blah. The key person I did reach out to yesterday was my 16 year old granddaughter, who confessed to being scared. We had a rich and heartening text exchange. So I kind of feel like if that's all I got done yesterday, it was enough.
But I hear you, dear Sara. This is absolutely what will get us through ... staying connected to friends both far away and in our neighborhoods. I'm so glad you'll be writing here again. Love you.
We took Lucian to Denmark when he was 10--most of my mom's family is from there, having immigrated in the first decade of the 20th century. We happened to be in Copenhagen for the 150th anniversary of the beautiful Tivoli park, and we stood in a crowd of thousands of Danes watching fireworks once it got dark. We responded to the fireworks with our usual oos and aahs and clapping, until we realized that NO ONE else was making noise. The Danes stood there shoulder to shoulder and very quietly watched the fireworks. It was wild! So I'm not saying we don't come by some quiet and reserve honestly! And there is nothing wrong with that.
My parents held their cards so close to their chest and would never DREAM of "inconveniencing" anyone with their feelings, but they also didn't have many close friends. I am positively EFFUSIVE compared to where I come from. I also think I am giving people space, not putting my emotions on them, etc. BUT I have also come to recognize--slowly, and I forget over and over--that whiteness and "American individualism" are part of my reserve, too, and that the way I may feel comfortable being in relationship with people is not the same for them, and not necessarily the healthiest way. I KNOW I hold myself back from people.
I'm so very glad that you were able to offer G support yesterday. I was also able to comfort a teenage girl yesterday. I know you as a woman who loves her people and speaks up readily when something is amiss. I love you.
Love the Denmark story. And I'm going to be pondering this: "whiteness and "American individualism" are part of my reserve" (and colonialism as Pamela says in her comment) ... for awhile. And work to break the pattern.
I so agree with you about the media, which even now is somehow performing a "business as usual" tone. They validated Trump again and again. I cancelled my Atlantic and New Yorker subscriptions years ago, but now the NY Times may have to go...the question is what are our alternate news sources in this moment and how to support them when journalism will be under attack.
I've been thinking about this, too. Oddly, possibly the New Republic. They've been covering Trump in a more realistic light. Possibly the Guardian. Philly Inquirer. ProPublica. Let's share ideas.
Hell yes, Sara!! It’s funny in that connecting sort of way - I wrote the piece I just posted about writing and processing and then was delighted to see this post by you…and gorgeously written, as always. Your prose is so lush and delicious - I’m deeply inspired excited to get to read more of it as we move into the winter months. ❤️
Going to read your piece . . .
Thanks for sharing this today, Sars. I needed it. Lots of love!
I love you, blood kin!